"Hot Flashes from Heaven"

As printed in the Coeur d'Alene Press 7/16/08

By AMANDA WINTERS
Staff writer

WORLEY — Like all women do when they hit mid-life, Ronna Snyder went through “the change.” But unlike most, she kicked it off with a bottle of purple nail polish and a Harley-Davidson to match. She didn’t want to be June Cleaver anymore.

The Worley resident said she was feeling “old, frumpy and dumpy” when a voice in her soul told her to buy a bottle of purple nail polish at Wal-Mart several years ago.

“So I picked it up and was really embarrassed at the cash register - women my age don’t wear purple nail polish,” she said. “When I put it on I realized my mom would never wear this polish and a lot of my friends would never wear this polish. Then I thought, ‘I’m buying a purple bike.’”

The nail polish, bike and voice in her soul were the inspiration for her new book, “Hot Flashes From Heaven.” Snyder said the book is about what the brain goes through during menopause.

“ I just took notes of what I thought was an estrogen-deprived epiphany,” she said. “They would come like a hot flash from heaven.”

Snyder described her book as “inspiration for the hormonally challenged” and said it addresses the questions that arise in a woman’s mind during mid-life.

“Am I a mother anymore? Am I of value in the workplace? Who the heck is this man that I’m married to and do I even want to continue?” she said. “If women stop, slow down a little bit and listen, they’ll hear answers to those mid-life questions.”

One of those answers came that night at Wal-Mart, telling her to buy a purple Harley. Snyder said she had ridden on the back of her husband’s Harley for years and eventually he convinced her to buy a bike of her own.

“I was scared to death,” she said. “For a year I put 7,000 miles on it and hated every minute of it. But I decided to give it one more try and I bought a brand new bike all on my own.”

Snyder said the decision to buy a new bike was earth-shattering. She hadn’t made financial decisions like that in her marriage before. Her husband advised her to buy a black one, since it’d be easy to resell and he didn’t have a lot of faith she would want to keep it. But she did.

“There was something about that bike and the fact that I made that decision to buy the bike,” she said. “Mentally it connected. It wasn’t any easier to ride, but mentally I realized a lot of the stuff that goes on in my life is affected by my brain and if I can wrap my head around this maybe I can get a grip on this thing that I’m so scared about.”

After the voice in her soul told her to, Snyder traded the black bike in for a purple one and said everything exploded from there.

“I think (my children) were slightly horrified when I started wearing purple leather,” she said. “I had these Kiss rock star boots, purple python leather pants and purple boas. I was positively menopause gone mad for several years. I’ve kind of toned things down, but during those years they were a bit in shock.”

Niki Anderson, a fellow writer and friend of Snyder’s, said she encouraged Snyder to write the book and loves the finished product.

“It’s real,” Anderson said. “She doesn’t hide her faults or failures and she has so much good, wise advice to give.”

Snyder said putting her innermost thoughts and personal experiences on paper was a little creepy.

“But that’s also part of the change,” she said. “You’re tired of pretending and you know everyone else is likely pretending too, so some of us get a little ornery about pretending. We’ve lived long enough to know that life kinda sucks sometimes, so why candy coat it and pretend that it doesn’t when it kinda does? And it really, really does at mid-life for some women - so let’s talk about it.”

Each of the 20 chapters in her book has a side bar at the end with helpful tips for women on everything from battling depression to planning retirement. Snyder said her upfront approach in the book is to help women be proactive about their lives and encourage them to do something different and not be afraid.

Anderson, who lives in Spokane, said Snyder’s approach to menopause is optimistic and relatable for all women.

“She takes the age-old theme and changes it into the beginning of a new adventure,” she said.

Snyder said her own adventure consisted largely of redefining herself and realizing that there were things she couldn’t control. She realized her children were individuals and would disappoint her. She realized she would disappoint them as well. She let go of the fantasies she had created in her head about being a wife and mother, and searched for dreams instead.

Snyder encourages all women facing the challenges of mid-life to see a counselor and to quiet their lives.

“If you’re so busy you can’t even ask the questions that are unsettling your soul you certainly can’t hear the answers,” she said.

Snyder said she set aside this next year to travel and give speaking engagements on her book. For more information go to: www.ronnasnyder.com